WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in said weekend dwindling away at an increasingly rapid pace even as you read this news articl...
0 AD–September 11, 2001: Everything fine September 11, 2001: September 11, 2001 September 12, 2001: A determined George W. Bush responds to the Sept. 11 attacks by swiftly promising two failed wars, a nearly 10-year manhunt for...
The nation dredges up its last remaining reserves of grief, a study finds that anxiety can be resolved if you think about it real hard, and a woman who cracked three separate iPhone screens is expecting a baby boy this August. It's the week of May 24, 2013.
SAN ANTONIO—In an effort to inspire the team before Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals, Spurs captain Tim Duncan reportedly reminded his teammates Friday to always put their duties as fathers before their jobs as basketball players.
Microsoft says their new Xbox features a host of simple voice commands that will easily control and instruct gamers.
10 Things You HAVE To Know Before ‘Arrested Development’ Returns
Magazine: How One Man Defied The Critics Who Said Large-Breasted Models Couldn't Sell Funny T-Shirts
How One Man Defied The Critics Who Said Large-Breasted Models Couldn't Sell Funny T-Shirts
WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama hosted the Tecmo Bowl champion Bulldogs at the White House Thursday, honoring the team for their stunning victory over the heavily favored Wildcats. Obama, who met with the players and coach BOB and provided a guide...
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation for allegedly filing a fraudulent claim, sources confirmed Friday.
The Boy Scouts of America voted during their annual meeting yesterday to allow the admittance of openly gay youths into the scouting program, while maintaining the organization’s ban on homosexual adults as scout leaders.
"I thought that I knew a thing or two about subpixels, but Google has proven to me that there are some subtle differences that I was not aware of," writes Joerg T..
"My wife and I just moved to Ireland and we are trying to set up our car insurance," wrote Giulio De Vecchi, "However, if premiums are going to be THIS high, I think we are just going to use a bike."
Christopher writes, "Could it be that Netflix would rather I play a game of Memory instead of watching movies?"
"I got this message trying to log into an account," wrote Mark Reierson, "There must be some serious code behind this site!"
Marcus writes, "Something tells me that these aren't the lads from Liverpool that I was looking for."
"While I appreciate their honesty, I was hoping that associating an email address with my print subscription wouldn't require ALREADY having an email address associated with my print subscription," wrote John R..
"Groupon sure has a generous definition of what 'Limited' really means," wrote Stephen.
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SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual child Max Lovell, 14, told reporters that he was looking forward to joining the organization and finally bei...
The government confirmed for the first time that it has killed Americans in strikes by unmanned aerial drones, killing four U.S.
By George Lucas
COLUMBUS, OH—According to staff at Dusty’s Kitchen, the local restaurant’s extreme burger challenge, formerly described as “an insurmountable mountain of beef and cheese,” has recently been moved down to the regular dinner me...
With David Beckham retiring last week, Onion Sports examines notable moments from the soccer player’s illustrious 21-year career.
Slideshow: 9 Photos Of Jennifer Lawrence That Will Make You Reassess The Scope Of The 1986 Vienna Convention On The Law Of Treaties Between States And International Organizations
9 Photos Of Jennifer Lawrence That Will Make You Reassess The Scope Of The 1986 Vienna Convention On The Law Of Treaties Between States And International Organizations
Gummi Bear Emerges From Digestive Tract Unharmed